Here I am again, writing yet another one of these posts. It’s been almost four months. Time flies, yet drags on all at the same time.
I started this blog in January, 2019 having no idea the trials and heartache my family would go through in the span of eight months. This blog started as a way for me to chronicle our lives for all of our family that live states away, to talk about things that interest me, and to give in to this creative/writing energy that I’ve been holding onto for years. At no point did I think I would sit down to write about losing three (THREE!) people we love in such a short amount of time.
If you read what I’m now considering Part I of this post, then you know that in April we lost my step-sister. Prior to that, outside of losing my maternal grandmother when I was 17, I don’t think another person’s death had ever impacted me in such a profound way. I was a mess, and I was a mess for a while. That feeling doesn’t ever go away, either. I think I’ve just learned to embrace it for no other reason than I have to.
Fast forward to October. My husband had been visiting his parents as often as he could between his work schedule knowing that they both were sick. Mid-October we received a call from one of his sisters saying his Mom had been hospitalized and seemed like she was on a rapid decline. This, just days after being on the phone with her while she seemed in good spirits and completely lucid while talking to our son. We immediately flew back to Texas to be with her. We were there for a week, and when we returned home it was with the understanding that she wouldn’t be with us much longer, but we would make the trip back when we knew it was closer to that time. Less than 48 hours later, we received the phone call that she passed.
Fast forward to December. As if my husband losing his Mom wasn’t enough, we received devastating news that his Dad had terminal cancer. We had already made the decision to spend the week of Christmas in Texas, so we made the trip with the understanding that it could be our last with him, but with the hope that he had several months left. We returned home on December 29th, and received the call that he had passed on January 1st.
2019 was not good to us. Point blank. As a person that strives to be positive, despite my natural inclinations, it’s difficult for me to make that statement. It’s true, without a doubt, but I also think about what the year gave us: our first camping trip as a family, Little Man’s first trip out of the States, good friends having their first baby, being in the best health of my life at 31 yo, Isaac’s new job.. the list goes on and on. So yes, 2019 was not good to us and 2020 didn’t start out good either, but here we are doing our best to pick up the pieces.
To my husband: you are without a doubt the strongest person I know. I know you don’t believe that of yourself, but I know it enough for the both of us. What you have endured this year is more than most people in the span of decades, and yet you get up each day, work hard, and love us harder. I could not have dreamt up a better partner to be with on this journey. I love you.
So, that’s where we’ve been. It feels like we are somewhat back in the swing of a routine. Life looks different nowadays, especially for my husband, but we’re taking it one day at a time. I plan to be back here A LOT more with regularly scheduled posts on all the goings on: weekend things with my boys, all the health wealth series posts that were placed on the back burner last year, what I’m reading/listening to, and much more. Stay tuned!
When going through their things, this picture was found amongst the thousands of others (yes, thousands).
My absolute favorite picture of them, ever.
Belinda Sue & Mike circa ~1975
Until next time…
