How much screen time do you allow your kid?
Depending on who you talk to, this is not only a hot-button topic but a personal one, as well. I blame the incredible amount of articles, “resources”, and parenting blogs out there that have turned the subject into one of which parents should be ashamed. Which is why I want to talk about it.
Here’s the thing: the majority of people having/raising kids right now were not raised with access to television/media 24/7. I was born in the late 80s. I grew up with a television in my home, and as I grew older another in my bedroom. This allowed me access to a screen any time I was in my home after school and on weekends. Most of the time I was at my friends’ house we weren’t watching television, I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 16 years old, and iPhones didn’t exist until my first year of marriage. All of this to say, I’m one of the above-mentioned majority raising a child who is now three years old, and technically that three year old has his own tablet.
Don’t @ me. This is why I’m writing a post on this subject. There are A LOT of people out there that will read the last sentence above and come after me. I don’t care what those people think and this is why: it’s none of their business. I know, I know, I’m sitting here saying it’s none of their business, yet I’m writing an entire blog post about it for people to read. My point is: to each their own and don’t worry about how the person next to you is parenting.
I used to feel an immense amount of shame for allowing my kid to sit in front of his tablet for more than an hour. It was constantly in the back of my head that I should be engaging with him more and setting strict guidelines on the amount of time he’s allowed to watch it. I would read blogs and books about how dangerous it can be to allow that stimulation on a constant basis. Do I think they’re entirely wrong? No. With that said, I had to stop looking outwardly for the right way to parent. I had to take a look at the season of life I am currently in, and evaluate what works best for my child in that season. For those that don’t know, my husband travels for his work. He’s gone for weeks at a time, only to return for a couple days a month to R&R. When he’s home he is the best parent, and it’s as if he was never gone. However, when he’s away it’s solo-parenting 24/7 for me, and there’s a certain way that plays out for my son and I to both survive; one of those ways being him having access to television. Here’s what that usually looks like: he’s up waaay too early in the morning and I’m still getting ready for work: tablet time; we’ve just returned home from work/school and he’s tired/cranky and therefore a little too hyperactive: tablet time while sitting for dinner; it’s the weekend, no rules, and you get to do what you want: tablet time. These are just a couple of examples. Some days he can sit for hours watching PJ Masks, other days he has no interest and would rather dance around to Foster the People while playing air guitar. My point is, I’m not going to feel guilty if he chooses PJ Masks. I’m going to relish the peace and quiet and get some work done while he’s preoccupied. Another example to quickly note: tablet at the table in a restaurant. You can bet your bottom that the tablet will be on the table if it means a calm, peaceful meal with my husband/friend/parent. I do not care what the people sitting around me think about this. My son is every bit of boy you can think of and he is THREE. Sue me.
I’m also going to quickly note that for all of us raised without screens 24/7: our parents are the real MVPs. I legitimately don’t know how they did it sometimes. Was our world a little different 30 years ago? Yes. Did we worry less about our kids going out in the neighborhood with their friends from sun up until sun down? Yes. Were some of us raised in a home where restaurants were a luxury, not a regular occurrence? Yes. What hasn’t changed? Kids just being kids. So the next time you have a conversation with your parents, a quick you da bomb for putting up with me probably wouldn’t go unappreciated. I mean, my parents once drove from Texas to Florida (19 hours trip) with an eight (me) and three (my sister who HATED her car seat) year old without the aid of on-demand television and internet. *shudders*
So, if you ever see me out in a restaurant with my kid and I whip out the trusty ole’ tablet and you’re not a fan of that, I recommend just turning the other way. Or, if you’re out somewhere and see ANY parent partaking in such activities in order to keep a semblance of their sanity, how about you send good vibes and a kind thought that they’re doing what is right for themselves and their kids. There’s no one, right way to parent; we’re all just winging it as we go; so let’s be a little kinder to everyone along the way.
Until next time…
Great post baby! And thanks for the kudos…you actually were very calm and minded extremely well when out in public as a child! You could sit and watch the people in the restaurant the whole tim!