Insanity

When trying to come up with a title for this post, that’s literally the only word I could think of…

So yes, I have been MIA for weeks now. From 12-hour work days, 2x a day workouts, *trying* to train for a 10k, keeping a toddler alive, and then normal day-to-day bullsh*t, I’m tired. Like, beyond tired. I’m pretty sure I would forget to eat if I wasn’t in an office surrounded by people eating their own lunches to remind me.

Here’s a rundown of the last few weeks:
5am workouts = 3 days a week.
Afternoon running = 4 days a week.
Working with the team to sign the most contentious contract the company has negotiated in years = hours upon weeks upon months of work for a 30 second phone call at 9pm on a Friday to finally sign the damn thing.
Mom to an almost three year old with the attitude of a 15 year old = constant.
Cohosting Sonya’s Baby Shower = Hours of planning and prep for one day of AWESOMENESS (blog post to come).
Groceryshopping,mealprepping,errandrunning,cleaning,laundry,onandon… you get the picture.

Let me just say, I’m not complaining. I mean, maybe I’m complaining a little bit. But there’s some days that are just hard. Sitting at my dining room table at 8pm on a Friday night working, while my kid is sitting on the couch watching television by himself and neither of us have eaten dinner yet? That sucks. Being so exhausted from my day that by Isaac’s bedtime at 7:30pm I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to sit down and write let alone do the dishes? And then still having to do those dishes? That sucks.

But! Just because I’m tired, doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. My kid is healthy and happy. I have an awesome husband that’s always checking in on my well-being. I have the physical ability to move my body and workout. I found a new podcast that I love. I’ve tweaked my favorite smoothie recipe to be better than ever. Beyonce just released her live album from last year’s Coachella 🙌🏼.

Our most rewarding moments do not come easy. This is something I’ve had to work around in my mind for a while. Every single person on this earth would be successful, healthy, fit, wealthy, you name it, if it was easy to get there. I HATE working out. I have never been a physically outgoing person, even as a kid. I preferred to be locked up in my room with music and a book than be outside. That just carried over into my teenage years. I played tennis, and that’s it. So for me to be pushing myself into 2x a day workouts is so far outside of comfort zone. It also hurts. A lot. But, if I want to be in the best health at (almost) 31 than I have been any other year of my life? It’s going to hurt. Same for working long hours. Same for doing all the things to ensure I have a healthy week. Same for shedding a few tears behind closed doors so I can be as patient as possible in front of my son.

With that said, things are looking up. I’m counting the hours until we pick up my husband from the airport. I have two additional days off for a four day weekend. The weather is supposed to be perfectly spring for the next few days. Date night is just around the corner. Beyonce’s Coachella documentary and new Game of Thrones on my TBW list.
I recommend writing out your own grateful list, and doing so each day. Big or small, we need the reminders, even if they do get us through just one day. That’s one more in the direction of the best versions of ourselves.

All of the hard stuff and practicing gratefulness are not mutually exclusive.

Until next time…